A year of change, solitude, and true companionship
Today is my last day at my current job, which has been my home for the last nearly 2 years.
The past four years have been full of goodbyes, at the service of finally becoming myself. Four years of heartbreaking endings, and new beginnings. Of letting go, rejecting, and being rejected, in the most painful ways. Yet here I am, purposely losing this sense of familiarity that we all so very need… aaaaaagain.🤷♀️
But this is the only way forward. You close doors and/or escape through available open windows in order to pave your own destiny. I changed countries, left life-long careers, communities, and individuals behind, quit long-term relationships (and been broken up with), lost people to COVID, moved places again and again, changed jobs (most voluntarily, one forced because this b*tch got her arse kicked out🤦♀️) several times… And now it is time for a change again.
I leave a family behind, a community of great people that have cheered me on and embraced me for the big weirdo that I am, without judgment — well, maybe a little judgment, but all in good fun. A wonderful group of people that has been a huge support during a very strange time in history, where we have seen the world collapse under the pressure of a huge sanitary crisis — and so did our personal lives.
It might seem like going a bit overboard writing a silly heartfelt article over quitting a job for the sake of career progression. It isn’t the fact that I have 3 hours to kill during my last day, where I have literally completed every single task that I needed to complete — translation: I am bored as balls… It isn’t that.
OK, it is MAYBE a little bit that. But on a more serious note, we often overlook the effects of what a good workplace environment can do for our self-esteem. Granted, my current company has got LOTS of defects, but it has also helped me grow into the person that I am Today. Thanks to the constant positive and negative feedback, meaningful interaction, challenges, and support during times of professional and personal crisis, I have learned the true meaning of being a part of a community.
I have learned the true power and light that exists within me and have now come out to say ‘hi world, brace yourself because here I am in all my splendor’.
The last couple of years in my life taught me that I could wear this red shiny lipstick whenever and wherever I bloody well want💄. That tattoos are not a reason to be discarded for a job. That being crazy and silly and loud is accepted, and that strong opinions can be valuable assets — so long as there are expressed calmly, with mindful purpose of course. That I have A LOT to offer to any community, whether a workplace, close friendships, or anywhere. That I am not, nor will I ever be or need to be, everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s okay, nobody needs to be accepted by everyone.
To wrap this whole lot of nonsense up, I just want to encourage you, who are reading this and maybe feel stuck in some way or other, to simply initiate change. ANY change that feels right and reachable. Start with the lowest hanging fruit, but start slowly changing what’s keeping you from living the life that you wanna live. Maybe it is a job, maybe it is a partner, maybe it is a toxic family member, or an apartment that you don’t like, or even just a pair of trousers that don’t fit you well and make you feel insecure.
It. Doesn’t. Matter.
The point is: start shaping your life to what you want it to be, do not shape and constrict yourself to fit a life that no longer serves you. It will be difficult and uncomfortable, you will feel at times like you don’t belong. You might experience severe imposter syndrome and not find a stable ground to stand on for a while. But trust me when I tell you that it will be worth it, and eventually, you will see the real start line of your new you right in front of you.
Do it. You got this. I am with you.❤️🔥
